The appeal of this show has always eluded me, especially British obsession with it. We make some of the best music in the world; producing The Beatles, David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Smiths, Radiohead, The Libertines, Blur, Oasis, The Ashdowns, Arctic Monkeys, Legion of the Damned, Andy Abraham and Paul Potts, to name a few.
So why to settle for, and attempt to compete with, such awful aural bilge?
The fact that most of Europe doesn't help our cause for winning, but I'm not sure we should be all that bothered. Perhaps that's what's going on and I've just not realised. We purposefully send the worst 'musicians' out to obscure ex-soviet states simply so that our real musicians can stay in the studio creating music possible of exciting endorphins amongst the musically educated.
And in this instance, I think it had to be a ploy to remove a rampant paedophile from our streets for a few hours.
Of course, I'm joking. I'm sure Daz's sexual preference is perfectly above board and usually remains within the confines of a farmyard. Please allow me to take this opportunity to add that Daz Sampson is not a paedophile, nor is he an animal molester. I accused him of said crimes simply for hilarious comedy effect which, I'm sure, you'll agree worked faultlessly. Again, the only raping Daz Sampson has done is of the British music industry. Well at least to my knowledge. He might have done some. Saying he's not is just as libellous as saying he has. Basically, I've not looking into Daz's criminal record or counted the notches on his bedpost. I doubt there are many, but I reckon they're all above board.
Another wonderful entry cast adrift from our shores was by a band named Scooch. Apparently we can only have contestants with ridiculous names.
Which leads me nicely into this years' entrant. A man with possibly the worst name imaginable. Englebert Humperdink. His parents mush have been mentally disturbed whilst being simultaneously high, having an unfortunate cocktail of seizures, strokes and epileptic fits, being chewed by bears, crushed by grand pianos made of concrete and choking on popcorn kernal skins when they named him.
His school years must have been wonderful.
Anyway. The Eurovision Song Contest fails to hold any merit in my eyes, and I wish we either canned it in or actually sent some talent out to whichever crumbling European state has the privilege to host.
Daz Sampson is an innocent man.
As is Bill Posters.
What are you on about? It is definitely more libelous to call someone a rapist than to say they're not.
ReplyDeleteWell if he is a rapist and is proud of it, then saying he's not would land me in all manner of problems. I'm just trying to provide an objective service here.
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