Harry Potter and the Poorly Worded Advert

As I am now a published journalist (if there’s anyone left reading this who didn’t know, I divert your attention back to my previous blogpost), I have a certain ability, nay responsibility, to point out the ill-thought-out writings in the public eye. Lacking said qualification has never stopped me before, but I thought I’d justify my arrogance as I am now so adept.

I began writing a blog post involving The Metro a few months ago, but scrapped it as it was rubbish, but I’ll mention the thought here as it was The Metro that has sparked this post.

As I was flicking through the plethora of intellectually challenging and thoroughly interesting stories, such as ‘Boy wears skirt in shorts protest’ and ‘Hasta la vista, baby: Arnie terminates his marriage’ (I do love a good pun) I reached the letters page. Who would think to write into The Metro, I don’t know, but there were letters present and one caught my eye.

‘Lay off the suburbs’ read the headline and I perused in ever-further, when I slowly realised that this story was about my friend, Bri, and her playing down of her hometown – Bromley. Now you really know you’ve made it big when a dullard is writing a letter into The Metro about his disliking for your views.

This post is more about me pointing out that I know someone who’s becoming famous and therefore trying to claw onto some kind of coolness from that, but I have little shame and I’m fine with pointing this fact out.

 Anyway, back to this week.

I discovered another copy of The Metro on a train a few days ago and after being disappointed by the contents inside I reached the end and turned onto the back page which had been adorned by a full-page advert for Harry Potter.

Now, at this juncture allow me to say where sit with Mr Potter. I read, and have reread all of the books and have enjoyed them greatly, I care not for the hoards of people willing to point out that J K Rowling isn’t a ‘great’ author and that the series was ‘technically’ good. The plot is engrossing, the characters are likable and I bloody enjoyed it, so everyone who disapproves can go and read some Jane Eyre, which is satisfyingly dull that you can bore yourself to death with the ‘classics’ until the cows come home.

The measure of the worth of a book is not in the technicalities and the ridiculously over strenuous plotlines wherein you have to read, reread, study and restudy many times in order to understand and get any kind of enjoyment from. The Harry Potter series does exactly what it needs to, and that format obviously works a lot better than the classics, and I don’t see swathes of young people queuing up outside book shops for a new edition of Pride and Prejudice, but we all saw the crowds or weirdos who waited in lines to buy the new Harry Potter books when they were released, and equally the films have caused a similar stir.

This advert, though.

I’m sure most of you have seen this in one of the papers around, I’ve seen it in a few places now, and one thing bothers me.

Advertising works on excitement and intrigue, but rallying up excitement and anticipation, and advert can draw in thousands of people to buy a product, view and event or do anything the advertisers want. This advert runs in the same vein.

‘Jaw-dropping’, ‘gripping’, ‘thrilling’, ‘awesome’, ‘spectacular’, ‘spellbinding’ (another great pun). These are all words you expect, words to typical of advertising that if they were omitted from this type of poster then we’d be suspicious, we’d be taken aback and not sure why these people weren’t throwing their all into promoting this film.

One word not often seen in this context is the one that surprised and disappointed me. I can understand the reason for including it, but its place is not here, it does not belong in large type on the back of one of the biggest free newspapers in the country.

‘Satisfying’

This word is best used after a meal. Not a meal that has excited the taste buds beyond your anticipation, but one that has had enough stodge and carbohydrates to fill you up. You were hungry, now you are full. You have been satisfied.

The final instalment of one of the most eagerly awaited films in recent times is not the place to get this word out of the cupboard. It’s not as though the quote needs the word to make sense. Drop it and leave it as ‘Spectacular and terrifically exciting’. That’s a great review. You needed involve the disappointment of the stodge-word. Put it back in its box and fetch it down after your next stew. Don’t paint the back of hundreds of thousands of newspapers with its inadequate meaning.

Also, this dog is mental.

And one more thing in case you've still not bought a ticket. Jono: The Musical is happening on Tuesday and it'd be great to sell the night out. It's for a great cause - The Mouth Cancer Foundation - and we're hoping to raise £1,000. As well as that, it's a night of laughs, songs and fun. If you miss it, I guaruntee you'll regret it for all of eternity. If you can't make the night then the set list is available in CD form or digitally. Contact me for details.

See you Tuesday!